So it’s like one in the morning.  I can’t sleep.  I haven’t been able to sleep normally since I had my wisdom teeth pulled two weeks ago.  Is that normal?

Even though things are healing up nicely and I don’t even need so much as an aspirin to deal with what little pain is left, there’s something about putting pressure on my jaw that just kills me.  I can almost eat normally again, but as soon as my head lays on my pillow and the weight of my head presses down on my jaw, BAM, it hurts.

And it’s not the kind of pain that painkillers do anything for.  It’s just like … stress.  I dunno.  I can’t explain it.

I think my jaw muscles are still tensed like mad too.  At least I can open my mouth all of the way now.  I just can’t sleep.

It’d probably help if I didn’t need to sleep on my side.  For some reason I just can’t sleep on my stomach or my back.  I always roll over onto my side, even when I try.

The other night I slept.  I got maybe two hours of sleep in forty eight hours.  And then drugged myself silly with Benedril.  (Don’t ask.  Benedril makes me incredibly drowsy.  But it’s also the only allergy medicine that helps any, so I always have some hiding somewhere.)  And I slept twelve hours.

Maybe sleeping twelve hours is part of the reason why I can’t sleep tonight.

But I slept only two hours the day before that.  (Not the night … two seperate random cat naps during the day.)

I dunno.  It’s driving me crazy.  All of this lack of sleeping normally is probably screwing with my mind too.  It’s probably why I’m constantly freaking out over things that wouldn’t normally matter.

All I know is that I want to sleep.  Sleep!  SLEEP!

Sleep?

Please?

This is one of those weird myths that has bothered me, that men fall asleep after sex and women don’t.  They want to talk, or cuddle, or do something.

I think the reason that it bothers me is because I believe it happens.  Probably a lot.  Just like a stereotype, the concept came from somewhere.  If it wasn’t at least sometimes true, people wouldn’t bother perpetuating it.

And why does that bother me?  Because it makes me feel bad for all of those women!

Because I know when my wife and I have good sex, she naps!

A typical example of a good fuck typically starts with a fair bit of foreplay.  Especially since sometimes I have to calm her down.  From a bad day at work.  From nervous energy if she’s worrying about something.  Women just seem to carry a lot on their nerves.  I know my wife does.  So taking twenty minutes just to gently stroke her face, pull on her ears, run my fingers through her hair, touch and kiss her body, she needs that.  It helps calm her down.  Otherwise she’s just not going to be in the mood.  She might go through the motions, and they might even work to an extent, but I just know that she’ll be worrying about something during it all and that distraction is going to keep her from enjoying things.

Women just aren’t like men in that respect.

Well, okay, so some are.  I’m making broad generalizations here.  I know that there are exceptions to every rule.  Work with me.

Okay, so I’ve got her calmed.  I can feel her finally getting into the sex.  Usually that’s when she’ll even start to play with me.  That’s when it’s time to shift from relaxation petting to real foreplay.

And sometimes then I can even surprise myself by getting her to start climaxing.  If I get lucky like that and manage to hit just the right nerve, of course I go with it!  Women (at least the ones I’ve had experience with) can climax way more times than men can in one session.  So hell yeah, let her have fun!  Get her to climax during foreplay if it starts to happen.  Make the most of it!

Sometimes I’m lucky at that point and she’s not totally desperate for a hard fucking yet.  Then she’ll suck and nibble on my nipples or do all sorts of wonderful things to tease me mercilessly.  More often than not though, she’s a desperate one by that point.  Granted, I don’t really blame her.  I may not be the most endowed man on Earth, but fortunately I seem to rock her world well enough.

So that’s when the real sex begins.  Usually I’ll tease her at first.  Even though she’s wet, I have sensitive everything, and god knows my penis certainly is.  So I usually have to enter her slowly, bit by bit, pulling out and going back in.  That way I don’t hurt myself forcing a deep plunge before my knob is all lubed up.  But also it fucking drives her crazy!

And then I fuck her.

I know her well enough to usually tell how good things are going for her, and how to make them go even better without pushing myself too much closer to the edge.  Women that have sustained orgasms are fun.  Women that have multiple sustained orgasms are even better.  (Which, honestly, I think is as much her partner’s doing as hers, as I know that even with the right play men can have multiple sustained orgasms.)  It’s all good fun.

The only downside is that I just can’t last forever.  Even though I can try my best to prolong my orgasm while giving her good ones, eventually I’m gonna pop.  It just can’t be stopped.  If not a physical trigger, certainly the rush of emotion at making her scream her head off does it to me every time.  So at some point I finally cum.

But if it’s one of those times when it’s only just a little orgasm for me, because I’ve spent more time concentrating on her than on me, then I can usually push even past that and keep going for her a bit longer.  Which is always fun.

You’d think, after that, we’d both be ready to collapse.  But typically, no.  After holding myself up on top of her for a bit, kissing, snuggling, I finally roll off.  And clean myself up.  But if I’ve done it right, now she’s built up a lot of fluid and needs another release.  It’s time for her nail her g-spot and squirt it free.

Even though I’ve done it for her a few times, I more enjoy taking a lazy break and just touching her while she gets herself off.  To me, there’s nothing sexier than a woman masturbating.  I even just figured out today that pressing down on her mound while she’s working her g-spot makes her scream even louder.  Hell yeah!  I don’t get why some people are hung up on female ejaculation.  It’s a beautiful thing!

And then, of course, it’s time for the clitoral orgasm.  Unfortunately my wife just can’t seem to have a clitoral orgasm before she’s had a vaginal one.  Believe me, I’ve tried.  It just gets her close and ends up making her sore.  But after sex, she’s almost always got to even things out.  So yay!  More masturbation!

Of  course I touch her some more.  I have to be careful to give her room to do her thing, but I can still have fun teasing her.  Maybe even slide a finger or two in and work her g-spot some more.  And do some energy work to tingle her.  And then for the umteenth time she climaxes again and shudders a lot and if my finger(s) still in her, I do my best to tease her only a little, to drag that climax out even longer without totally killing her.

If all has gone well, it’s time to snuggle up and take a nap.  Sometimes I doze.  Sometimes I just enjoy being close to her while she snores her pretty little head off, glowing in the pride of having made her happy and basking in the afterglow of my own orgasm.

It’s days like that, when she wants to nap after sex, that I know I’ve done her right.

So I know, women do sleep after sex, if you’ve fucked them senseless.  It does happen.

The next time you’re making love to your partner, and you think you’ve done well, ask yourself: Are they sleepy?  Do they need a moment to recover?  Or did they just jump out of bed, ready to do something?

It’s bad enough that women have to fake orgasms for some people.  But it’s even worse if they’ve also gone through life never needing a nap afterwards.