Okay, so you’re a crossdresser, transgendered, transsexual, or something.  You’re feeling spunky and confident enough to go out dressed in a gender in opposition to that which DNA gave you the hardware for.  You’re having a good time eating out, shopping, dancing with friends or a lover.

Then you have to pee.  Really bad.

Which bathroom do you go into?

Do you feel confident enough to walk into that bathroom of the sex you want to be?  Do your fears that you might not be quite able to pull it off just yet and the emberassment if you can’t get pushed down far enough to dare it?

Or do you go into that other bathroom, even though you’re dressed very wrongly for that occasion.  Do you live down those stares?

Or do you just run home to the safety of your own bathroom where no one judges you?

To me, at least, it’s a frightening thought.  I sure know that I’m never going to pass for a woman any time soon.  But hell if I’m going to go into the men’s room in a dress!  This is just one of the many paranoid reasons why I can’t bring myself to leave my house dressed as a woman.  Even if I had the world’s best wig (which I don’t) and could managed to somehow cover my facial and body hair with enough makeup and clothing, and could somehow manage to feminize my face enough to actually feel comfortable leaving my house dressed as a woman, and managed to meet some friends that could give me a little safety in numbers (and we all know those are some huge ifs) then what do I do if I have to go to the bathroom?  Die holding it in most likely.  It’s a really scary thought!

But there’s an even scarrier thought.

Why do we have seperated bathrooms in the first place?  To keep pervs from looking at you.  Well back when poodle skirts were everyday fashion maybe we could almost forget about bisexuality and homosexuality.  But in today’s society?  Do we really believe that not a single member of the same sex might be interested in looking at us, given half a chance?

I’m sorry, but the number of bisexual and homosexual individuals is waaaaaay beyond ignoring in today’s world.  So does the “safety” of a gender-specific bathroom really make you feel any safer?

Personally, I’m of the opinion that we should just simply stop trying to bury our heads in the sand.  Not just because it greatly improves the crossdresser/transgender/transsexual life.  But because it’s just fucking stupid to pretend people don’t swing that way.  We laugh at the absurdity of the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.  And yet we perpetuate it everywhere we go.  You don’t really want to know that the woman in the stall next to you is bisexual.  You don’t really want to know that the guy pissing in the urinal next to yours is gay.  You want to live in blissful ignorance and pretend that the cute little stick figure on the door magically protects you from becoming a pervert’s sex object.

And that’s who it’s really protecting you from, are perverts.  Crossdressers are not perverts by default.  Transgenders are not perverts by default.  Transsexuals are not perverts by default.  Gays, lesbians, bis, are not perverts by default.  They are people, just like you and me.  They have no greater desire to see you taking a piss than any other person on the street.  It’s gross!  Just because their life isn’t doesn’t fit into a simple Box A or Box B doesn’t suddenly make them want to watch you piss!

If you really want safer bathrooms, have one for people into golden showers and scat, and one for people who try not to throw up just reading this sentence.

But for some deranged reason, we, the sheeple, are too stupid to actually think these things through.  So when one person fearmongers, we all run screaming into the night.  And when the status quo says that stick figures on doors protect us, we feel comforted.

What do we do?  Is there a right answer?  I dunno.  But I do know that clinging to wrong answers never solved anything.

Maybe it’s time we stopped putting stick figures on doors and pretending in a world of infinite possiblitities that two whole answers solve everything, and start just using common sense.  Would it really be such a challenge to make an all-people “unisex” room with seperate single toilet rooms and a shared sink/hallway to those rooms?  Or even just individual non-gendered single-unit bathrooms like the new “family” bathroom trend?

It doesn’t have to be complicated.  We just choose to make it so.  And in doing so we’re actually making the situation worse, not better.

So by now you’re probably thinking that I’m some nutjob fruitcake.  And maybe to an extent some of that is true.

Believe it or not though, I’m heterosexual.

Yes, you read that right.  I’m straight.

And yes, straight for a man.

I like women.

I really like women.

As I said earlier, I’m a realist.  I have a penis.  I don’t have a vulva.  Insert Tab A into Slot B works for me.

I also have a very tight anus.  Some play back there is fun, but unless you’re the world’s least-endowed man, you’re not getting in.  Physically it just won’t happen.  Or at least, to me, isn’t worth trying.

So, because of hardware limitations, there really isn’t much of an option for me to be anything but straight.

Not that I haven’t experimented a little.  Not much, mind you.  But a little.  I may not be gay.  I may not even be bi.  But at least I’m not a prude or a phobic.  Fun is fun after all.

Still, that isn’t the only reason.  Women are far more aestheticly pleasing.  Sex with them (typically) doesn’t involve pain.  Smooth skin and round curves are just so much more appealing to me.  And I’m just plain attracted to women more than men.

I’m betting some of that is psychological.  And some of it is practicality.  Were I to have surgery, my preferences there might change to match my hardware.  But I have the distinct feeling that even if I suddenly woke up as the woman I so often feel I am inside, I’d be bisexual.  I don’t think I’d give up on women if I became one.  I just don’t see it.  If anything, it’d probably make some things more fun.  But then some things with men would suddenly be a lot more fun were I a woman.  Hence why I’d be bi.

And, beleive it or not, just because on occasion I dress up at home, it doesn’t mean I’m wearing panties 24/7.  In fact it’s more often the other way around.  Dressing up in women’s clothing is a coping thing for me.  It’s like taking an Aspirin.  You don’t do it constantly.  You only do it when you need it.  I’m not constantly in drag.  I only occasionally crossdress.  And for the most part my sexual preferences fall in line to that.  If I could cross-skin as easily, then it’d be different.  And the world would be an infinitely better place.  But things are what they are.

So yes, most of the time, I am dressed as any ordinary male.  Sometimes I’d like to think perhaps even a bit more stylish than most, as men, in general, tend to be slobs.

I hope that helps the broader picture.  I’m a realist.  On the outside, I’m a man.  So I dress and play the part, most of the time.  Mostly out of necessity, but also convenience.  That’s just … life.